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Unemployed Boyfriend
[Answering machine:] Hi, this is Peggy. Leave me a nice message or Ill kill ya."
Hey Peggy, its me. You are never going to believe what happened to me today. Im sittin' at the unemployment office, waitin' on my loser of a caseworker, in one of those nasty chairs, when from out of nowhere, this total stranger walks right up to me, sits down, then leans over and says something like, This is gonna sound a little obsessive.'"
This is gonna sound a little obsessive This is gonna sound a little bit strange I have one thing to say Before I turn and I walk away
This is gonna sound a little impulsive This is gonna sound a little insane I know you dont know me yet But you and I, we will be together someday Someday I know, I know, I sound like Im on drugs Listen to me when I say
That ever since when I first saw you Sittin' on your car outside You asked for a cigarette I couldnt stop starin' at your eyes
Ever since when I first saw you Looking bored in that plastic chair With the lights of the office around you Those blond streaks, they look so pretty in your black hair You look cool and alternative with that disaffected stare Yeah you want people to think that you just dont care
Hey you can be with me Yeah 'cause I just might be the one Who will treat you like youre perfect Who will always make you come Hey you can be with me Yes I will always let you win I will never be like those other guys I will never be your unemployed boyfriend
Can you believe he said that to me? To me, of all people! I cant even remember the last time a guy took me out on a date and actually paid for it!
This is gonna sound a little bit out there This is gonna sound a little insane I keep having the same dream You will be the mother of my children someday Someday
I heard you sleep with that obnoxious guy I know he is in that famous band You look so sad when you are with him Yes I never see him reach to hold your hand
Yeah you can be with me Yes I will treat you like a queen I will go to all those chick flick movies That I really dont want to see Yeah you can be with me No I will never let you down I will never make out with your girlfriend When I know youre not around Yes you can be with me Yeah I just might be the one Who will treat you like youre special I will always make you come You can be with me Yes I will always let you win I will never be like those other guys I will never be like those other guys I will never be your unemployed boyfriend
Can you believe this? I mean, can this be for real?"
No!
"Then he takes my hand, writes down his number, and just walks away."
Whoa!
"I mean, wow. But you know, the weird thing is, hes actually kind of cute, in a really intense way. Kinda like Perry Farrell, you know. Intense, but sensitive. Anyway, I told my bitchy sister about it, and she just laughed at me. I told her I'm really excited about this! That I have a really good feeling about this guy! I told her, This could be the guy. Im like..."
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